Wednesday, April 22, 2015

A Perspective on “Soul Mates --- of the Moment”



And then all of us want everlasting love its’ also called "Soul Mates" in POPular culture. Except we may many a times not offer love even to ourselves forget others.

Who is a soul mate, what do they offer that others may not ? Are they somebody who can read your mind ? Can they intuitively preempt every emotion we feel, every need we crave, every move we make and keep doing this for a lifetime ? For those who see incarnations as possible there is also the question what happens to a soul mate in another lifetime. Soul mate searches and declarations can create very unrealistic behavioural or response expectations & many a times will set up a typical high intensity connected relationship. Much give, much take, much joy, much sorrow, rollicking roller coasters of a lifetime. 

When we declare success on soul mate search are we sure we can offer undying love to the one person across us and keep doing it day in day out till the end ?  Sure we are connected and sometimes that connect is intense and being with people we know whom we tend to regard as our own is a more comforting feeling. 

It is worthwhile to bring out why we seek out our own type: our family, our tribe, our caste, our community, district, countrymen et al. It is a primal conditioning which in our personal home grown "We They" models signals "We" to the limbic brain. The familiar I am told breeds contempt, children & complacency a feeling that we mistake for safety and for joy. Is it thus our primal human fear of loss due to death or other causes of separation from family and loved ones that cause us to seek unrealistic assurances of soul mate permanence in interaction?

Great connections bring alive opportunities for sharing and caring exchange, growth and evolution. The intensive oneness,  faith & trust allow us to be more open than we are usually in interaction, which facilitates give and take of a high order. When that give and take ends it ends. 

Attempting to hook, own or predict the permanence of human beings in our lives in specific roles for posterity is to attempt to freeze them and ourselves.  Freeze in static roles that may stifle and make the other person an uninteresting boring person. 

Actively seeking high intensity soul mate interaction is to deny others around you the gift of interacting with you different levels. It is an almost selfish refusal to share with the apparent random stranger a smile and a bagel (ok cookies or coffee or both)

When we are honored in life by such "soul mate" connections the only thing to do is what we do otherwise. Live those connections, live the highs & lows, celebrate the sharing moment on moment. The soul mate aspect is built into life’s design and will reflect automatically without any human meddling. 

Seeking irrevocably permanent, role defined, performance guaranteed, soul mates akin to seeking business performance is an invite to Emotional Imprisonment. 

Life's thrills are in its uncertainties,  each person, family, friends, business associates, customers suppliers the person across the aisle in your inter city journey is your soul mate of that moment.  When the person is gone and a new soul comes across they are the new soul mate. The soul you are meant to be with for that time period at whatever level of interaction. And we could add dogs, cats, cows, sheep, goat, trees birds the bees and flowers to our lists of soul mate of the moment.  


And on some fabulous days you are you own soul mate. . .

#love #soulmate #soulmates #relationships


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